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Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change.

Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

How did the ancient Romans cut their hair?

With a pair of Caesars.

How did the Vikings send secret messages?

Norse Code!

Why did the Queen put a bank machine in every castle?

For knightly deposits.

How do you find a princess in the forest?

You follow her ‘foot prince’.

What is a mummy’s favourite kind of coffee?


What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?


During which age did the mummies first live?

The band-age.

What’s King Tutankhamen’s favourite brand of chicken?

King Tut-key Fried Chicken.

The inventor of the throat lozenge died last week.

There was no coffin at the funeral.

What has six legs, four ears and a shining suit of armour?

A king on horseback.

What do you call a Scottish monster that hangs people?

The Loch Noose monster.

What did Shakespeare say when deciding which pencil to use?

2B or not 2B, that is the question.

What is an astronaut’s favourite part of a computer keyboard?

The space bar.

The genius inventor of predictive text has sadly died.

His funny will be help on Saturn.

What time do astronauts eat?

At launch time.

What did William the Conqueror say when he saw himself in the completed Bayeux Tapestry?

Well, I’ll be darned!

What did the sign in the Egyptian museum say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or your mummy back.